How life changes....

from one moment to the next. I know I have been MIA in the last week and a half. I expected to get ready for Christmas and also to bill all my customers for the last few weeks of work but instead I found myself on a plane to Bermuda. Got a call from my dad on Saturday to say that my aunt was in the hospital and she was not feeling well. He was talking about flying out to see her on Thursday and I thought ok I have some time to get a flight out there and be able to see my aunt. Checked some online fares and continued with my day with my aunt always at the back of my head. Something was just not right as I talked to her just 3 weeks before and she sounded fine. In my heart I knew that this story was one that was not told in whole so I called my mother and sure enough she let it slip that she was flown back to Bermuda from Boston on a air ambulance instead of a regular plane. My heart hit the floor because I knew the next call I made would be to my cousin Nelia. She would tell me exactly what was going on. I called and she told me straight out that I needed to get there fast and that she prayed that I arrived and my auntie would still be with us.



My life at this moment was put on hold because I was stuck in a very hard place. My sister is pregnant and my parents had asked me to not say a word of what was going on in Bermuda. I did not agree and thought I would not make it thou the next day without telling my sister something. So I got on the computer at 11:39 pm the moment I got off the phone with my cousin and booked two flights out for myself and my dad. Our flight was to leave Toronto at 8:30 am Monday morning. I got into bed and slept for a total of 3 hours before getting up and having my sister pick me up for Ste. Anne's Spa. The spa has always been a beautiful place but I held the guilt of not telling my sister what she needed to know. It was eating me up inside. Then to have to hold back the tears which I had inside of me was an even bigger task. I could not hold this inside me so I told her that my aunt was sick in the hospital with a small lung infection and that she would be alright. Having the words come out of my mouth were the hardest part because I knew that it was somewhat true but not totally. I did not know what I was up against in Bermuda. To my luck I got an reaction to one of the creams they placed on my face and was able to let all my feels out in the lobby of the spa. We placed cold towels and after about 2 hours I started feeling better. Arrived home at 7pm and said goodbye to my sister with yet another lie that I wasn't going to be around in the next couple of days and to just PIN me on my blackberry. Got inside and cried because I knew that this wasn't the case. Packed my bag and went to bed for 3 hours. Up at 5 am and headed to the airport.



We arrived in Bermuda at 12:10 Bermudian time. We headed straight to the airport. When I walked into the room you could not imagine my heart when I saw my beautiful aunt who no longer looked like herself just a few months before. She said my name and said my father's name and told us she wasn't going to die. No one should have to go thou this. My heart went out to her. We stayed at the hospital and did not leave her side. I stayed by myself the first night only to have the worse night she ever had. She took a turn for the worst and I stayed up with her all night. She was still not saying much but did say she loved me and smiled. I told her I loved her and we were going to get thou the night and talk again in the morning. We did not sleep a wink and I just didn't know what to do to help her. It was a tough situation but I was glad that I was able to spend this time with her. She asked me about my brother and sister and that was it for the talking. 7am everyone came back and noticed the change from just a few hours before. What a hard morning to see her go thou all of this.



My cousin's husband Joe took me back to his house to get a shower and eat something because I hadn't eating anything since I arrived. As we were finishing our meal and just getting ready to chill out for a little while the phone rings and we were told she only had a few hours and to rush back to the hospital. At this moment the car could not drive fast enough to get there. We arrived and found her in even worse off shape then what I left her just 2 hours before. At this point I told my father that I could not lie anymore and that I was heading into the hallway to tell my brother in-law that he had to tell my sister what was happening. This was all going too fast. I really felt bad for my sister as she was taking the news hard.

The next few days were hard to watch and also know that within a few days we would be heading back home. Thursday arrived and we went to the hospital for one last time to say good bye. I felt so bad for my father as he had a hard time letting go. He went back 3 times and cried all the way home on the plane.

I have been back home for 2 days now and I am always thinking about my aunt Val. I have been calling offen and the newest update is that she is still suffering. I pray that God takes her and lets her be at peace. This Christmas will certainly be a different one. Thanks for letting me let my feelings out.